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Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Honor or Murder? When Tradition Becomes a Death Sentence for Women

 “The right to life of women in Pakistan is conditional on their obeying social norms and traditions.”
(Amnesty International, 1999)

This grim truth was reflected in the event that recently made rounds in local media. A young couple in Balochistan was brutally murdered for choosing love over obedience. Their only so-called crime was falling for each other without family approval. The story flared in news headlines just like so many others. People condemned it. Yet this killing was not an anomaly. It was an execution disguised as justice which was meant to punish “right to marry” with blood.

Every year in Pakistan, hundreds of women are killed in the name of “honor.” According to the Human Rights Commission, in 2024 alone, nearly 405 women were murdered by relatives who believed they had disgraced the family. That is one woman each day who is killed not by strangers but by brothers and fathers; the people closest to them, people who claim to love them.

But what kind of love kills?

Women’s right to life is indeed conditional on their obedience. If she transgresses, she forfeits her safety. Her autonomy is punished. The families then call it an “honor killing.” The media call it a tragedy. But we must call it what it is – a plain MURDER.

Phyllis Chesler Organization (2021) notes: “An honor killing is the cold‑blooded murder of girls and women simply because they are female.”

These murders are not about upholding faith or custom rather they are  about upholding patriarchal control over women’s bodies, choices, and voices. Honor killing is not a cultural relic. It is a system. It is about ego. Control. A fragile masculinity that collapses the moment a woman decides for herself. It thrives on the convenient belief that a man’s shame is more powerful than a woman’s right to live.

However, this violence is deeply gendered. Men don’t kill their sons for falling in love. They don’t murder brothers for disobedience. The system doesn’t punish male transgressions in the same way. Because the goal is not justice, it is control.

The notion of honor always flows in direction – from the man to the woman and never back. Her behavior is policed. His is forgiven.

Roots of the honor system

This is not just about one couple in Balochistan. This is about how masculinity is taught and passed down as entitlement. Honor killings have deep historical roots tied to tribal codes, colonial legacies, and generational patriarchy.

In many tribal societies across Pakistan and South Asia, honor is linked to family reputation and male authority. The honor is seen as inseparable from women’s action and men’s authority. Colonial rule reinforced these dynamics by governing through local male tribal leaders, jirgas, and panchayats. These systems resisted formal legal accountability and allowed patriarchal control to flourish unchallenged.

As Kalyani Menon argues, honor killing is not just about individual violence but it is about a culture where murder becomes a tool of moral enforcement. In this way, honor becomes a weapon, not a value. Therefore, these killings are not spontaneous. They are rehearsed, justified, and even encouraged by elders. This is political yet generational abuse, disguised as tradition.

Read More: Her Death Went Viral but Her Life Was Ignored

While Pakistan introduced legal reforms in 2004 to address honor killings by amending the Criminal Law Act, but the practice persisted largely due to loopholes which prevented prosecution. In 2016, following the international outcry over the killing of social media star Qandeel Baloch, Pakistan passed new legislation to close all the loopholes and remove the possibility of complete pardons in honor killing cases.

Yet, these reforms remain largely symbolic. In practice, the impunity persisted. Only around 1 in 5 cases result in a conviction. Many cases are quietly buried through same tribal councils, jirgas, and community pressure that continue to favor the killer over the killed. Pakistan’s androcentric legal system fails to challenge deep-rooted gender biases.

We need a cultural revolution

These murders are not driven by betrayal. They are driven by embarrassment. Her love is considered as a violation of their authority. Her happiness, a humiliation. 

So they kill her. To feel powerful again.

And this is all the more reason to stop calling it or wrapping this dynamic as “honor.” Let us call it what it is: wounded pride dressed up as morality. These killings don’t restore dignity. They only glorify men’s control. As Nadia Rahman, Amnesty International’s Deputy Director for South Asia, notes: “The authorities must end impunity for violence and abolish so-called village and tribal councils that prescribe such horrific crimes.”

Politicians like Sherry Rehman have echoed this call by labeling such murders as despicable acts. Bilawal Bhutto also condemned and called the suspects “beasts” who are promoting gender terrorism. But we need more than condemnation. We need transformation. We need to end this terrorism. We need a cultural revolution that uproots the very idea that men must be obeyed to be respected.

We must teach boys that love is not ownership and respect is not submission.

Other than that, some actions, that will propel structural change, must include:

  • Closing remaining legal loopholes in honor crime laws 
  • Implementing community education that deconstructs toxic masculinity
  • Reforming curriculum to teach respect, consent, and autonomy from a young age

Without this revolution, more daughters will die crossing invisible lines, more mothers will mourn in silence, fearing the wrath of tradition.

However, while quick arrests of those who were involved in the murder signal a glimmer of hope, we must ask ourselves, not once, but again and again: How many more houses must turn into crime sites before we take justice seriously? How many more women must die before we admit that tradition is being used as a weapon?

Let us ensure the next generation inherits dignity, not dominance.

Let women finally be free to love without dying for it.

Works Cited

Chesler , Phyllis. Honor Killing: A Form of Femicide – Digitalcommons@uri, Dignity: A journal of analysis of exploitation and violence, 2021, digitalcommons.uri.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1300&context=dignity.

Heydari, Arash, et al. “Honor Killing as a Dark Side of Modernity.” Social Science Information, journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0539018421994777. Accessed 22 July 2025.

Khalil , Noor  Akbar, and Mashhood Ahmed Sheikh. Postcolonial, Pakistaniaat: A Journal of Pakistan Studies Vol. 2, No. 2 (2010), postcolonial.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/P2.2.3.pdf. Accessed 22 July 2025.

Khan, Aleena. “‘Honour’ Killings in Pakistan: Judicial and Legal Treatment of The.” LUMS Sahsol, sahsol.lums.edu.pk/sites/default/files/2024-05/%E2%80%98Honour%E2%80%99%20Killings%20in%20Pakistan%20Judicial%20and%20Legal%20Treatment%20of%20the%20Crime%20A%20Feminist%20Perspective.pdf. Accessed 22 July 2025.

Noor ul Sabah
Noor ul Sabah
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Noor ul Sabah is a feminist researcher focused on intersectional approaches to gender, technology, and governance. Her work explores how power and identity shape experiences of violence, migration, and citizenship.

Noor ul Sabah
Noor ul Sabah
Noor ul Sabah is a feminist researcher focused on intersectional approaches to gender, technology, and governance. Her work explores how power and identity shape experiences of violence, migration, and citizenship.

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