We live in an era defined by speed. Fast consumption. Fast food. Fast fashion. Fast likes. This constant acceleration has slowly shaped not only how we live, but how we relate to one another.
In the rush to move faster, achieve more, and respond instantly, thoughtfulness is often seen as unnecessary, kindness as optional, and respect as outdated.
As a result, values and traditions that sustained societies for centuries are increasingly questioned or dismissed. Among them are etiquette and good manners, often misunderstood, misrepresented, or entirely overlooked.
Yet etiquette is not about formality for formality’s sake. It is about how we choose to treat one another in everyday life. Below are some of the most common myths that prevent people, especially women, from embracing it fully.
Myth 1: Etiquette Is Old-Fashioned
Do we truly want to imagine a world without manners?
A world without courtesy, social graces, or simple pleasantries would quickly become chaotic and uncaring. While etiquette continues to evolve with society, its foundations remain timeless: kindness, respect, and consideration for others.
Trends change. Technology advances. But courtesy never goes out of style.
Myth 2: Etiquette Is Reserved for Royals
Royal etiquette is indeed highly detailed, shaped by centuries of tradition and protocol, levels most of us will never encounter.
But etiquette itself is not exclusive. Holding the door open for someone. Placing your napkin on your lap. Making eye contact when introducing yourself.
These are all expressions of etiquette. small gestures that make everyday interactions more human and respectful. And who would not want more of that in their life?
Myth 3: Etiquette Is About Superiority
This could not be further from the truth.
Etiquette is not about elevating oneself above others. It is about making others feel comfortable, seen, and respected. In fact, one of the clearest signs of poor manners is pointing out someone else’s mistakes or making them feel inferior.
True etiquette is quiet. It never humiliates, it dignifies.
Myth 4: Etiquette Means Always Being “Nice”
Many believe that good manners require constant niceness, even at the expense of one’s dignity. This misconception has led some women to reject etiquette altogether, fearing it invites disrespect.
In reality, etiquette teaches us how to set firm boundaries politely. It shows us how to say no with grace, how to be assertive without being aggressive, and how to protect our space while remaining respectful.
Courtesy does not erase strength, it refines it.
Myth 5: Etiquette Is Only for Certain Circles
There is a widespread belief that etiquette is only necessary for elite social circles, diplomatic environments, or high-ranking corporate positions.
The truth is simpler: manners add value to everyone.
A little etiquette does not “spoil” anyone, it enhances character. And when we practice it consciously, we pass it on. To our colleagues. To our communities. To our children.
In doing so, we contribute to a more respectful, empathetic, and human future.
Why Etiquette Matters for Women
Women have always been carriers of soft power, from the family sphere to leadership and politics. Through behavior, communication, and example, women shape social norms more than they are often credited for.
By learning, applying, and spreading good manners, women do more than polish their personal image. They influence environments, soften tensions, and model respect in spaces that desperately need it.
Etiquette is not about perfection. It is about intention. So do not be afraid of etiquette. Start using it.
Catalina Bora
Catalina Bora is the founder of the Institute of Etiquette and Protocol. She can be reached at catalinabora@gmail.com
